Behind The Mic Book Review: Keeping My Balance A Memoir of Disability and Determination by Stephanie Torreno

Google is a girls' best friend when it comes to finding memoirs on disability, so a journalist such as myself, can wet your appetite to check these books out!  Google did not disappoint this journalist either!  Keeping My Balance A Memoir of Disability and Determination by Stephanie Torreno, is a book that shows just because you have a disability or special need, doesn't mean you can't accomplish your goals or dreams. The key is to explore and consistently push yourself out of your comfort zone, to see how you handle the ups and downs of life that everyone experiences.  Stephanie is incredibly candid in expressing her hurdles, struggles and humor.  I couldn't put this book down!  She had huge hurdles to overcome.  Her speech was difficult to understand and she needed note takers in school and throughout college.  Transportation needs were addressed, sometimes her mom would take her places, sometimes her Nana, then MetroLift....each time she talks about MetroLift though, all I could do was shake my head!  They were always late!!  It's never comfortable to be late, even if you're fashionably late!  Home health care nurses helped with prepping meals, but it was hard to find and keep good help.  The next couple of challenges Stephanie faced were some of the most heartbreaking.  The tragic losses of her Dad to suicide and her Nana to cancer.  Depression and anxiety became her new normal on top of the challenges of cerebral palsy.  She had to come to the realization that no one caused her dad's suicide, so she didn't have to feel responsible.  I really resonated with how she felt, wondering if depression would ever loosen it's grip so that I would feel like myself again, too.  The most wonderful transformation, though, was how through all the challenges, even the ones I haven't covered in this post, Stephanie never stopped moving forward, even when the obstacles seemed impossible!  It was all about mindset when it came to accomplishing the task of college, family life and loss.  This book underscores the fact that no one is "special" or immune to what life can throw at you.  The true success of anyone is all about navigation of the hills, valleys and boulders. Stephanie Torreno NEVER gave up and never gave in.  She kept her balance always with grace and determination...The moral of this story: "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice"----Bob Marley

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

My Life, My Choice: You deserve to choose how you live

Choices, Choices,  Choices.... From the time we wake up in the morning until the time we lay down to sleep at night, we make choices that affect us.  Sometimes we're affected in little ways, sometimes in life altering ways.  Whether it's how to have your cup of morning coffee....you know... black, cream, sugar, cream and sugar, etc, etc...  one choice out of endless combinations that makes that cup of coffee... YOURS.  Don't you just love being able to pick out an outfit that expresses "YOU" any day of the week?  Just think about it: every outfit chosen fits an occasion, whether its a wedding, a party, or a day out with close friends.  Every outfit has little touches like a scarf, purse, shoes, necklace and earrings....that make it...YOURS.  The list goes on, but the point remains that the choice is: YOURS. You don't ask the barista at the coffee shop how you should have your coffee, or the fashion consultant at your favorite store what you should wear.  Other people may give you tips as to what's in style or what's popular among other customers, but in the end, it's YOU who makes YOUR decision!

Sometimes making decisions can be difficult, especially if you feel pressured, perhaps. You may not want to hurt someone's feelings by making the wrong decision, so the tendency is to put it on the back burner, or if someone asks you what you think about something...you might choose to answer with a shrug, "Oh, I don't know...I'm not the greatest at making decisions."  It may be that you just haven't been given the chance to make decisions, especially by those who don't know you or your situation.

What if a person was willing to help you understand the options you may have, so that you can make informed decisions.  As far as where you want to live, if you can live with a roommate, or which services are available to support you in making the life you dream of a reality.  Well, good news!  The Arc of Indiana has you covered!  The "My Life, My Choice" project was launched from July through October 2012.  A team of two gathers information to assess your unique situation.  One of the team members is a person with a disability who understands where you are, how hard it can be to make decisions that can be life changing, but, also how good it feels to take control of your own life.   Don't be afraid to talk openly about how you feel, where you see your life going, or who you see being part of your support team.  There are no right or wrong answers in the interview!  It's a time for you to be heard and supported!

This project touches me very deeply!  The dignity and respect shown to people with disabilities in doing this project is outstanding!!  How deeply it touches a persons' heart to know that are heard, understood and cared for!

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Hear the interview about My Life, My Choice with Rebecca Scherpelz, the Arc of Indiana's Self Advocates Administrator and the Arc Network Employment Advocate Here:  www.arcind.org/upload/media/A%20View%20into%20the%20My%20Life,%20My%20Choice%20Project.mp3

                                                                                   

A look back at the Pathways to Employment Premiere :)

The Narrator (me) and the filmmaker  Ken :)                        

We all know the excitement that's in the air before an awards show or the premiere of the movie we have just been dying to see.  No, I haven't been to an actual awards show or movie premiere in Hollywood, but I have felt it.  I decorated my living room with pictures of Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon when I watched the movie, Walk the Line, because I wanted to feel like I was there.  I even wanted to eat Johnny Cash themed snacks during the movie! :)  I always think to myself, "If I could just be a fly on the wall!  I want to see how they made that scene look so real," or "I wonder what was happening in the background that made that actress say her line like that!"  I appreciate the time, energy and effort that goes into the movie even more when I know those details.

Brandon Boas, A photographer featured in the film!  :)

I got the same feeling when I went to the premiere of the documentary series Pathways to Employment.  I got to go to the premiere, get all dressed up, (I looked adorable, by the way) ;)  have my picture taken on the red carpet, and eat and mingle with many of the stars!!  OH OH!!!  I got to be a fly on the wall too!!  I got alot of tips and tricks on what the sought after, soon to be Oscar winning filmmaker, Ken Oguss used to get the breakout film stars to tell their stories of inspiration...he used lots of fun looking technological toys to capture them!

Aside from the technical aspect though,  Ken's heart comes straight though the screen to touch your heart! It comes from the fact that Ken isn't just a filmmaker and storyteller in title only.  He invests time, energy and interest in the subjects whom he films.   For the Pathways to Employment documentary, you become a fly on the wall, as it were, by being taken along for the ride as the viewer and given a very personal view into the lives of the six individuals featured.  What you will first notice as you watch these videos, is the amount of positivity that is in each video.  Sometimes, to an outsider, the person with a disability may seem to have a lot of roadblocks and some may wonder, how will they ever accomplish the things they want?  These videos show how each person has accomplished their goals by replacing the word "CAN'T with CAN and they see the challenge as an opportunity.  Their team of cheerleaders and supporters focus on their potential, which makes their differences fade.  Simple equation: Find a way to turn the seeming negatives into positives.  That's what is fully showcased in these six videos....and when you have a filmmaker who fully understands that and embraces that idea, in collaboration with the Arc of Indiana, the end result is a motivating beautiful piece of work!!

What made it such a happy night for me was not only seeing Ken's hard work be recognized, but I was happy for the stars themselves!  I've heard their stories, many of them being guests on my show, telling me about the pain of being told they can't, or that no one understands them.  At times they have been stared at, or laughed at.....but not on the premiere night!  That night they were applauded and their faces glowed!  I was so glad to be a part of that night...words can't even begin to say how much!

Sally,  Jill and my Mom! :)
Three of the many great supporters I have on my team! :)

Behind the title of Pathways to Employment, Ken took a picture of a road and the two yellow lines on the road look like an equal sign.  So fitting, as everyone who looks for and wants a job, the same is true for those with disabilities....employment is their goal...and there are many pathways to get there!

Jennifer Schwab, Special Events Manager
with the Arc and one of the many hard workers who brought
this event together! :)

Hear some exclusive behind the scenes extras from Ken in this interview he did with me after the premiere!!   http://www.arcind.org/upload/media/A%20View%20into%20the%20Pathways%20to%20Employment%20Film%20Series.mp3

Michelle Fischer is host of  A View from my Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

A Behind the Mic Reflection: World Cerebral Palsy Day 2012

Cerebral Palsy: An umbrella term encompassing a group of non-progressive, non-contagious motor conditions that cause physical disability in human development, chiefly in the various areas of body movement.  Wow, that's the dictionary definition used to describe people with Cerebral Palsy!  I mean really.... what's up with "non-contagious motor conditions" as part of the definition?  The things that are contagious about me are my laughter, my smile, my humor, my hugs, my heart, my imagination, my need to be with friends and family (btw, I cherish these relationships deeply.  They have kept me level and focused and able to deal with the changing landscape of my cerebral palsy).  My love affair with news is extremely contagious...(I know it is in my blood... I'm just sure of it!).  What about my excitement to try new things and my desire to travel the world?  I want to be an actress, live in New York City, work at CNN (Anderson Cooper will think I'm FANTASTIC!) :))  I love to meet new people and I'm really interested in who they are.  Encouraging people is my forte.  When I see a friend with a tired, sad, at their wits end expression on their face, I love to turn it into laughter and a smile!  All of these aspects to my personality make me proud of who I am.  But, I'm even more proud that I didn't let all the hardships and struggles that CP has tried to beat me down with, squash my spirit!

Have I always been this positive?  NO.  I was hit like a ton of bricks ten years ago and thought my life was over... that I was worth absolutely nothing!  I was shocked, I mean, I went from this carefree, high spirited girl to this shell of a person that, when I looked in the mirror I didn't even recognize the reflection staring back at me!  I was shattered, my heart broken...all the hopes, dreams and goals I thought were right in front of me were actually miles away, and it would take a tremendous amount of work to get there!  As I look back now, even though the journey was hard, and trust me, some days it still IS,  I have learned to love myself day by day and appreciate my own unique way of accomplishing my goals. (And the people who have helped me get to those goals - you all know who you are, and I thank you from the very depths of my heart!).   So, to all of you who may be going through this journey of self-discovery - I am here to tell you, you can do it!!  It will make you stronger, better and more resilient.  Rely on those who love you and feed and nurture your potential, and never let negative thoughts cloud the beautiful person you know you are!!  Don't let the disability define you.  YOU define what's possible even with the disability...  With your incredible ABILITIES!!! :)      

So, on this Cerebral Palsy Day 2012, even though the actual day is now distant,  I leave you with this: Educate, Empower, Inspire - Show  everyone how Brillant you are!!

Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by the Arc of Indiana