Behind the Mic Book Review: Going Places. Children Living with Cerebral Palsy.

As people, it's in our nature to lead an active, full vibrant life, with lots of laughter love and adventure thrown in for good measure!  Do you notice, too, that when we live life we get the greatest joy by sharing it with others?  People with cerebral palsy are no different. In fact, the very qualities that motivate us as people, are just as strong in those with the extra challenge of cerebral palsy.  We may have obstacles, but that doesn't put a damper on our desire to participate in life for one minute!  Thomas Bergman, author of the 1991 children's book, Going Places-Children Living with Cerebral Palsy, shows that kids with this physical challenge aren't defined by it, but it gives them motivation to live life the best they can!
The book follows six-year old, Mathias.  He has a mom, dad, a younger sister Emma and a cat!  Does that sound like your family? :)  Mathias was diagnosed with being deaf and having cerebral palsy when he was two years old.  His mom and dad were sad for a bit, but Mathias' happiness made life a little easier!  Attitude is the foundation for how you will be able to cope with things and make adjustments.
Through the words and pictures that make up this book, Mathias never loses his bright smile or that undeniable sparkle in his eye!  He goes to school, plays with his sister, loves rock music, goes to the doctor and has physical, occupational and speech therapy.  He types on a computer so that he can communicate with those who might not know sign language like his family does.
All of the adaptations that Mathias uses to help him either to physically function or otherwise, doesn't mean he's not smart or funny.  Those who may not have the ability to speak because of how cerebral palsy affects them have many valuable things to share and with the aid of communication devices, can give voice to those valuable things and connect with those around them in a meaningful way!
This book is a wonderful resource for children, parents and teachers.  It has a wonderful glossary of supplementary information, encouraging kids to ask questions about cerebral palsy because asking questions and taking in information is a great thing!
Thomas Bergman shows in this short book, that no matter what it takes to get around, those with disabilities, in particular cerebral palsy, are going many places, indeed!

It all started around the kitchen table.... :)

Have you ever really stopped and thought about how important the kitchen table is in your house?  It’s at the center of where everything important happens.  Memories are made, decisions are reached, and bonds are forged.  In my case it became one of the foundation building blocks that would take me through my rough times.  I remember my Grandma and Grandpa Fischer’s kitchen table so fondly even to this day!  

That kitchen table was where I learned kindness, compassion, and support.  I grew up in a family where getting together and seeing everyone was a refreshing intimate time to catch up, laugh and rebuild each other!  When entering the house, I remember even as a little tike, a feeling of instant comfort and coziness inviting me in.  I was never ignored, but included.  I was cheered on, helped and most of all...LOVED!!   I was part of the weave that was my family.  I always felt like if I wasn’t there...I knew they would feel like something so important was missing.   I was never put to the sidelines or less valuable because I was different physically.  Everyone, including my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents were a team, and we helped each other out.  When we were making food for a family dinner, I was always in my high chair close by or included in the action somehow.  Or, sometimes we would simply look at old photos or look outside at the beautiful lake down the lane.  Whatever we did, I was never far away!! 

Children learn by example. The example set by the people in my family was never unnoticed or unappreciated in the least!  As I have entered adulthood, and have learned to grow into my own skin, I’m incredibly grateful for the the time, patience and love I was shown by my family members!

All of us get caught up in the “on-the-go”, but it’s important to slow down and take time to be with family.  Nobody loves you like your family does. Nobody will cheer louder or harder for you. And your family will use all their power to lift you back up on to your feet when you fall.  Realizing the strength and need for the bond of family happens around the kitchen table.  Never underestimate the need for family time for all in the family. The routines and memories you establish now, will make an impression and be a source of comfort during those hard times. Trust me, you will be thanked.  The advice and sometimes tough love family members have given me sticks with me.  When I’m not confident in myself one day, I hear my mom’s voice say, “Honey, you are doing things you never thought you would be doing, be proud of that”!  Or I hear Grandpa’s voice saying,  “Whatever you choose to do, you can do it and I will support you!”

The support and belief in me from those whom I care about is easy to see now, and is the very thing that started the spark of belief in myself to accomplish things I wanted to do.  Home is where your heart is. Family is where your STRENGTH is...and it all starts around the kitchen table.

Autism Awareness Profile: HANDS in Autism

                                                                                                                                    When a child is diagnosed with a spectrum disorder such as autism, it can be an emotional roller coaster like no other. The sad part is watching your child have to struggle with having to "learn" the very things that give us closeness as human beings... a touch, a hug, holding hands, a kiss and countless other social interactions that are so vital to our emotional and physical well-being.

     What is incredibly comforting to most of us, can be awkward and uncomfortable to someone on the spectrum.  In going through this puzzling process, there are many uncertain times.  Times where you may ask yourself - Where do we go from here?  On my podcast, I have had the privilege of interviewing some outstanding people who help those with autism.  One of these, Hands in Autism, is an organization that seeks to help families in making their way through what seems to be the never ending dark tunnel of the diagnosis. They provide a listening ear while being proactive in starting the process of seeing light at the end of the tunnel - with hope and help.  One of the keys to providing help for families and those who have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), is being able to provide resources that answer questions for families and caregivers.  They need answers as they cope with different stressful and challenging circumstances that they and their loved one may go through.  All of these topics are covered, and more, on the Hands in Autism website.  I was blown away and delighted to see that Hands in Autism goes far beyond the call of duty when it comes to resources. They are rockstars in the resources department!  Once you see this website, you'll see what I mean!!   Just as the name of the organization suggests, you are not ever alone...they are with you every step of the way!

Here are just some samples of the treasures you will discover on this site: 

This section deals with Visual Supports and Practical tools: http://www.handsinautism.org/tools.html

Here's a handout that talks about 10 things you can do to support those living with ASD: 
http://www.handsinautism.org/pdf/10Dos2SupportIndividualsASD.pdf

Hands in Autism has wonderful information Cards to help people understand more about ASD and it helps promote Disability Awareness These are Fantastic!  www.handsinautism.org/pdf/AutismInfoCards.pdf

There is life after the diagnosis of autism, and Hands in Autism wants to show you how to achieve that life...  Autism is not the end, in fact, it can be just the beginning of finding out that you can reach your dreams and goals and let your disability know that you are in control of YOUR life!

Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from my Window a podcast produced  by The Arc of Indiana

For more information on Hands In Autism, Follow them on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/HANDSinAutism.

Listen into my interview with Assistant Director  Tiffany Neal talking about the great things Hands in Autism does!  http://www.arcind.org/upload/media/A%20View%20into%20Hands%20in%20Autism.mp3

My Life, My Choice: You deserve to choose how you live

Choices, Choices,  Choices.... From the time we wake up in the morning until the time we lay down to sleep at night, we make choices that affect us.  Sometimes we're affected in little ways, sometimes in life altering ways.  Whether it's how to have your cup of morning coffee....you know... black, cream, sugar, cream and sugar, etc, etc...  one choice out of endless combinations that makes that cup of coffee... YOURS.  Don't you just love being able to pick out an outfit that expresses "YOU" any day of the week?  Just think about it: every outfit chosen fits an occasion, whether its a wedding, a party, or a day out with close friends.  Every outfit has little touches like a scarf, purse, shoes, necklace and earrings....that make it...YOURS.  The list goes on, but the point remains that the choice is: YOURS. You don't ask the barista at the coffee shop how you should have your coffee, or the fashion consultant at your favorite store what you should wear.  Other people may give you tips as to what's in style or what's popular among other customers, but in the end, it's YOU who makes YOUR decision!

Sometimes making decisions can be difficult, especially if you feel pressured, perhaps. You may not want to hurt someone's feelings by making the wrong decision, so the tendency is to put it on the back burner, or if someone asks you what you think about something...you might choose to answer with a shrug, "Oh, I don't know...I'm not the greatest at making decisions."  It may be that you just haven't been given the chance to make decisions, especially by those who don't know you or your situation.

What if a person was willing to help you understand the options you may have, so that you can make informed decisions.  As far as where you want to live, if you can live with a roommate, or which services are available to support you in making the life you dream of a reality.  Well, good news!  The Arc of Indiana has you covered!  The "My Life, My Choice" project was launched from July through October 2012.  A team of two gathers information to assess your unique situation.  One of the team members is a person with a disability who understands where you are, how hard it can be to make decisions that can be life changing, but, also how good it feels to take control of your own life.   Don't be afraid to talk openly about how you feel, where you see your life going, or who you see being part of your support team.  There are no right or wrong answers in the interview!  It's a time for you to be heard and supported!

This project touches me very deeply!  The dignity and respect shown to people with disabilities in doing this project is outstanding!!  How deeply it touches a persons' heart to know that are heard, understood and cared for!

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Hear the interview about My Life, My Choice with Rebecca Scherpelz, the Arc of Indiana's Self Advocates Administrator and the Arc Network Employment Advocate Here:  www.arcind.org/upload/media/A%20View%20into%20the%20My%20Life,%20My%20Choice%20Project.mp3

                                                                                   

Music Therapy: Your brains' best friend! :)

A three day weekend is coming up and you just got a call from one of your best friends, "Let's go on a road trip filled with our favorite shopping stops, delectable food stops and conversations that make us laugh and cry until our stomachs hurts!!" Exactly what I need, you think.... No sooner than you hang up the phone, you hop in your car, put your shades on, pop in your favorite tunes, turn it up, and dance like nobody's on the road and sing like a rock star!  Seeing your best friend lifts your spirits and puts you in the happiest of moods!  Did you know those tunes that are in your CD player are your brain's best friend???  Who knew!?!?!  It makes sense though, right?  When you have to clean the house, what gets you motivated more? Dead silence or a favorite song?  C'mon now, don't lie, we all know that you use your broom handle as a makeshift microphone as you jam to Michael Jackson's Billie Jean and do the moonwalk in your kitchen!!  It's ok, your secret is safe with me....;)  We are all motivated by music!! This motivation helps us all be productive and it calms our nerves.... It even helps me when I sit down to write blogs like this one!  It helps the ideas and words flow better...so when you, as the reader, read this blog it's a really enjoyable experience for you! :)   Music therapy is a fascinating field that is helping people with disabilities in remarkable ways!!  Lindsey Wright, a music therapist that sat down for an interview with me some time ago said music therapy is used to work on communication, cognition,  motor skills, emotional and social skills.  The music therapist uses different techniques and motivators to get the clients they work with to work on new skills that they wouldn't maybe necessarily be motivated to learn if the music wasn't there!!  The results are remarkable!

When your brain and music form a bond,
Remarkable things happen!!! :)

I'm always so happy to meet and interview people like Lindsey!  She recognized as a child how happy music made her and she wanted to share it with others...especially those with disabilities.  People learn and are motivated by different things....that's normal. Music therapy is just one more tool to help accomplish the goal of educating others that we are all the same. The outside may be different, but music is the universal language of everyone.....one of the motivators that we ALL can groove to!!





Listen into my interview with Lindsey to get to know more about this sweet music therapist and learn more about music therapy!  www.arcind.org/upload/media/A%20View%20into%20Music%20Therapy.mp3


Michelle Fischer is the host of a View from My Window a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Sisters forever bonded <3 <3

My sister Christine and I.
Summer 2010

"Christine, let your sister in your room, open your door!"- this was something my sister dreaded hearing, as my mom said this from the bottom of the stairs.  I was usually outside her door, screaming at the top of my lungs, so my mom would plead my case for me!  My sister would eventually open the door, but with an "I'm doing this because I was told to, not because I want you around" attitude.  As her younger sister, everything she did was absolutely fascinating to me!  Her world of make-up, boys, and high school were "big girl" things that I just NEEDED to be in on!

Eventually, she realized that no matter what she did, nothing would ever keep me away!  She would come home from school, drop her books and run upstairs with her friend, Kim, and slam the door.....but, it wasn't long before I was crawling up the stairs to join them!

The truth is, my sister and I will be forever bonded, even though there is a significant age difference.  We are nine years apart and going through different times in our lives.  She is the mother of 3 beautiful children.....but I have yet to be a mother or be in a serious relationship for that matter - all those things aside though, the impact she has had on me as my sister cannot be denied!

She was nine when I was born and not one speck of jealousy was seen.  She had a human doll to love and care for, and care for me, she did!  Who, at nine years old, would put the interest of her newborn sister ahead of her own?  MY sister did!

She has always been a fierce protector of me.  While always seeing my potential, she never really saw me as disabled.  Always wanting me to be just like everyone else, she encouraged me to focus and move forward, not taking the easy way out!  She wanted me to have a good year during my freshman year of high school,  so she became my aide that year.  To this day we still laugh about the time we were looking for the girl's bathroom on the first day of school and though we both thought the bathroom looked strange....it took a while to realize that we were in the boys' bathroom!  We quickly made our exit!  Or the time when we were going between classes and she started talking to a teacher and without realizing it, she had pushed me into a classroom full of students during class!  Christine said the look on my face was hilariously priceless!! :)

Having a sister who has a physical disability has to have been hard on her.  I say it that way because she has never said it's been hard, but in the same breath, it must have been!  In most ways, I have had to take little steps to reach goals and have life experiences that relate to her in some way.  Usually sisters become bonded because they have gone through similar experiences....marriage, kids, boyfriends, break-ups, heartbreak....and I haven't even had some of those experiences yet.  So when I think of her, I wonder:  Does she ever feel like she has a sister who understands her and can relate to her?  Even though she sees me as not having a disability,  does she ever feel like the disability is a burden?

I never meant to be disabled, sometimes things just happen... but one of the most valuable gifts in my life, is a sister who loves me even so.  I have grown out of the need to do "big girl" things now, because I'm doing them....and loving it!  But I'm still fascinated by the person my sister is and has become.  I love my sister and will be forever grateful for the love she's shown me!  We are SISTERS!  Forever bonded!! :)

Mom: Thank you for being YOU! Thank you for seeing beyond the disability!

When a woman gets pregnant with her first child, there is always excitement that radiates from her, they call it the "pregnancy glow".  Happiness and joy fill the hearts of the parents-to-be, thinking of all the possibilities that will be opened to their little one as he or she grows.  Everything will be just perfect!  As a mom especially, you want nothing to be wrong with your child.  No one wants their child to struggle. They would rather take on the struggle themselves, rather than their child.

On May 8, 2012,  I interviewed Kerry Fletcher and Kathleen McAllen, two moms who have kids with disabilities. This interview was one of the most touching and emotional interviews I have done! And I thank both of these ladies so much for opening up their hearts and giving us a view into the joys of raising a child with special needs, along with the heartbreak of the diagnosis and the grief of their child having to deal with the lifelong struggle that they never asked for.  I admired both Kerry and Kathleen's attitudes when they talked about that first diagnosis.  Kerry looked at it this way : "We had been seeing delays for a while before we got the diagnosis, so the diagnosis was the cherry on top.  We knew why and we had answers so then we knew what direction to go."  When I asked Kerry how she sees the future for her kids, she said : "That's why we have the IEP set up at school to direct them.  We don't know what that future will look like yet, but we try to look at all angles and are hopeful that they will be independent and have jobs"

Kathleen said: "My husband and I are both practical people, and so with the diagnosis, we thought, ok, we're not crazy...this is real..now we have something to work with."  In the same breath, both moms agreed that there is a grieving of the loss of what you think is going to be.  It is a process for not only moms, but dads and siblings and even other family members who live far away. Kathleen gave a word of encouragement to people who make the extra effort to get to know those who have disabilities: "Make that extra effort to get to know them, you will get more than you give!"

The diagnosis of your child with a disability is not the end of the world.  It's the beginning of a new world... one to get used to and to be informed about.  Kathleen and Kerry have been through all the uncertainty, but have come out on the other side....and they hope that their story helps others to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

This interview also hit home for me.  My mom has been my cheerleader and advocate for many years now.  She has helped me through the ups and down of my teenage years into adulthood, coping with the shadow of my disability. The things she said and did allowed me to put the challenges aside and view these opportunities as a chance to grow and flourish and she was by my side through it all!! Mom: THANK YOU!!

Thank you to all the moms out there who care so deeply for children with special needs! Your love is such a gift to us! "A Mother's love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible"-Unknown Author


For more information on chapters of the Best Buddies program, go to: www.bestbuddies.org to find a chapter in the state you live in.  For information locally, in the Indianapolis area, go to: www.bestbuddiesindiana.org

Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from my Window, an internet podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana