Living Big Living Full Living Authenic: Meet Lamondre Pough

When I met Lamondre Pough I was reminded once again why I started a View from My Window 10 years ago. He is the definition of "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."  

He had the odds stacked against him from the moment he entered into the world. He also had an advocate, his mom Betty. Several times throughout the interview, Lamondre mentioned how Betty was the reason behind his success, his determination and his mindset. His mom has always had her own mind and walked to the the beat of her own drum. 

She required Lamondre to have a thought process and to take responsibility for his own life. He said that there were always "real world" conversations. One day she said: "Son, No one will treat you the way you treat yourself." This was one of the many things his mom told him that helped mold and shape him into who he is today. 

I particularly appreciated the fact that his mom, his sister and himself had deep meaningful talks because in today's world, there isn't enough of that. Having deep conversations means deep connections which means stronger families and stronger emotional well-being, which leads to a happier individual. Lamondre has used the stability in his childhood, not only to help himself in navigating his life and the direction he wanted it to go, but he has a incredible passion for helping others tap into their potential, even if it has been unexplored for some time. 

In telling stories like this one, it really helps you to step back and reflect, showing personal interest in someone, asking, "How did you get here"? and really listening. Listening with a view to understanding and applying. Everyone you come in contact with teaches you something. Every experience, every interaction shapes the person you are, and eventually the person you want to become. Lamondre Pough didn't let the noise of those who thought it was impossible for him to live the life he wanted to ever cloud his vision and make him lose sight of his ultimate goal: LIVING BIG, LIVING FULL, LIVING AUTHENTIC!!!!!!

Listen to Lamondre's interview here:  www.arcind.org/podcasts/a-view-with-lamondre-pough/

Michelle  Fischer is the host of  A View from My Window, a podcast produced, by The Arc of Indiana

Behind the Mic Book Review: Someone Like Me By John W. Quinn

I met John Quinn seven years ago. He was commenting on one of Zach Anner's Facebook statuses. Zach Anner won the Oprah's Own show competition, remember? I was in my "interview search mode" trying to book interviews for my podcast. When I get in that "search mode" I can come up with pretty great stuff! I started looking through the comment feed on Zach's status, which I very rarely do, but I when I found John's comments on the feed, they weren't  the type of comments you usually see on public figure statuses. His remarks were dignified, respectful, and very commending of Zach's accomplishment on winning his own show. I noticed after that he made a short comment on his own story. I don't know what the full comment said, because my mind just focused in on the words: "disability" "Navy" and "hid". After seeing those words I was intrigued, but, I ended up going out of the comment feed and forgetting about it until a few hours later. "John is the perfect interview for the podcast, Michelle, c'mon, now, jump on it!" So I invited him to connect on Facebook, bought his book, asked for an interview and the rest is history! Really, John's story is one for the history books for sure. Speaking of books, I couldn't put his down! I read the book in a week! John went into the Navy and retired after twenty years, as a Senior Chief petty officer, which is the eighth of nine enlisted ranks in the U.S. Navy. No one knew until shortly after he wrote "Someone Like Me" that he even had cerebral palsy. That was astounding to me! The foundation that was laid to never let the label "cerebral palsy"  stop or hinder him, was set by his parents. In fact, it was his dad that told the doctors:  I don't want to see the words "cerebral palsy" or "handicapped" listed anywhere in his medical record. If you doctors label him with that now, it will follow him for the rest of his life, and I won't have that."  John comments further on his parents view of his condition:  My parents downplayed the issue of cerebral palsy to ensure that I lived as normal a life as possible  and I was never treated as someone with a handicap by my four brothers and three sisters. It was just the way I wanted it."  John never let his challenges follow him or get him down, even when the tough times reared their ugly head. Through loss, heartbreak, and the rigors of Navy life - screaming commanders, marching in frigid temperatures, a bout of acute cellulitis, losing his parents, his mom to cancer and his dad to a heart attack. His brother Steven took his life by suicide. The heartbreak of losing someone he thought would be the love of his life.  Not one ounce of all the challenges that life has thrown at him, has thrown him off his beat. Through each hurdle he jumped over, he came out stronger and even more determined.  I'm purposefully restraining myself from blogging about the whole entire book. It's a book review which is meant to just whet your appetite, but this book is a definite MUST READ! You will laugh, cry, cheer and most of all, be given hope that the possibilities are endless once you realize never to put yourself in a box, always being ready to push the envelope. As John says: "You want an absolute?  Here are two: You are never alone. There is always hope."  For Someone Like ME!

Thank you John for sharing your story on my podcast so many years ago! And thank you for allowing me to tell your story I appreciated the opportunity! And thank you for always bringing your story to everyone, everywhere! I'm glad I could be a small part of spreading the Awareness and Hope that's behind your story! -----Michelle

Hear John's interview I did with him 5 years ago on his story and book here: https://www.arcind.org/podcasts/a-view-with-john-quinn-author-of-someone-like-me/

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

You can also purchase John's book on Amazon!

Breaking News: I am a Panic Attack Sufferer!

I started experiencing panic attacks around the age of 18, about the same time I started experiencing depression. Depression and cerebral palsy were horrible enough, but then these attacks that have no trigger whatsoever? Yeah, now I'm at the peak of weirdness, I thought. I have never really talked about panic attacks until the last couple of years. I felt like if I talked about them, not only would people not understand, but I would be looked at as the most selfish person in the universe!  The real hard truth is, Ladies and Gentleman... Panic Attacks ARE REAL!  They do make me feel super out of control, mine come out of nowhere...literally I'm sitting by myself or lying in my own comfy bed in my own house!  I may go out to eat with friends and I'll have 2 small ones and a large one that shakes my body so much inside that I just want to curl up in a tight ball and cry until there are no more tears to cry! These attacks don't care that you want to enjoy life to the full with the ones you love, enjoy the act of actually taking air into your lungs, going shopping, going to a bookstore, going to a movie or just running errands. Everyday life is taken from you when these attacks show themselves... not to mention your self-esteem takes a MAJOR hit!  After many attempts at trying to be "Rosie the Riveter" about the toll that these were taking on my body, and that I could ''handle it", I found that it was difficult to deal with these alone. Seeking support makes everything more bearable! I wasn't too much of a fan of being that vulnerable at first, but the more I got used to the idea, the easier it became. As I talked about my anxiety, I found that many people suffer from the same thing. Then it occurred to me... the more you express what you are going though, the more other people feel free to express themselves. You never know how long they've felt the same fear of expressing their feelings, but because you are doing it, they may realize it's ok for them as well. What a gift to give to someone! In the years since, I have been to many doctors with no success. Then I found the sweetest doctor that has done wonders for me in helping control these monsters! Granted, I still struggle with them, and we have a rocky complicated relationship, but, I'm certainly glad I haven't giving up in showing them who's in control! I realized I'm worth it, and I'm certainly not alone.. No one is ever ALONE, my dear reader...NO ONE!

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Behind the Mic Book Review: a special education by Dana Buchman

 "What was going on inside me - what still sometimes goes on - was a frightening identification with my daughter and a feeling of being revealed as less than perfect.  On the outside, I project a very together exterior; hard-working fashion designer of a popular label, happy wife and mother of two, with any unpleasant feelings neatly tucked in.  But on the inside, I am messy.  I am insecure, incomplete.  I always feel I'm not the best I can be, not an "A." Underneath the glam exterior, I'm vulnerable, flawed.. I have always been afraid of these very human emotions, and I've always done everything in my power to block them out" ----Dana Buchman

Well, this pretty much ends the writing of this book review, doesn't it?  Period. Ok, blog finished!  Ok, ok.. really, there is just a couple more paragraphs to this review, I promise!  I couldn't help but totally relate to the sentences above when thinking about my challenges, but the cool thing about having someone like Dana Buchman, one of the most recognized designers in women's clothing write a book and share her story, is that it shows she is made up of the exact same things we all are..flesh and blood.  That flesh and blood makes us all human.  No matter your situation in life, famous or not, able-bodied or not, married or single, black or white..the list could go on and on, we all have stories of triumph over difficult hurdles and obstacles.  Dana writes about discovering herself, which helped her in understanding that showing you're not perfect in every aspect is what makes you more relatable, and in the end, more comfortable with yourself.  You can't give to others from an empty cup.  In my own personal circumstances in coming to terms with cerebral palsy, I was ALL about denial and burying my head in the sand. Just like Charlotte though, no matter how hard I tried, it was there like a glaring eye sore..in order to cope, I had to face my challenges head on..Me, Me and only ME! That's the way Dana had to approach the roller coaster of challenges that would characterize her daughter Charlottes' journey with learning disabilities.  Fear, anger, confusion, deep sadness and pain.  This was not how Dana usually lived life... she was very in control, the driver of her own success.  Just when it seems that there is a boulder that wants to shatter her life in pieces, Charlotte slowly but surely proves that learning differences will not define her or those around her, especially the love and bond of her family!  This book was published in 2006, but the moral of the story is the same: Whatever your destination, there's a million beautiful, ever-changing ways to get us there!

Michelle Fischer is host of  A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Behind the Mic Book Review: Carly's Voice- Breaking through Autism

I got "introduced" to Carly Fleischmann when I saw a video of her interview with Channing Tatum.  An instant smile came across my face.. Star struck by Channing, you say?  Well, Carly was, so that means I can be a little star struck too, doesn't it?  (Anyway, that's a totally different blog post within itself!)  I was amazed at the poised, bright, witty girl that just grabbed your attention through the screen.  Poised and in charge of the interview, yet allowing you to see that she was totally having a ''fan girl'' moment with Channing! My only indication that she might be a person with autism was her voice output device.  One thing is for certain though, when I watched that video, the consistent thought that ran through my mind was: "Oh, she is doing fantastic!! Yay!! Good for her!"  I had to pause and ask the question,"What did it take for Carly to get where she is today?"

Enter stage left, the book, Carly's Voice Breaking through Autism. Carly's dad, Arthur, gives you insight into the uncertainties of what the diagnosis of autism would mean for their precious girl while raising ''typical'' siblings, and at the same time coping with his wife's cancer diagnosis.  Quite frankly, special needs parents are superheroes, period. That's obvious from his side of the story. The last chapter is Carly's side of the story. You're the coolest Carly!  I got drawn into Carly's chapter because of her quick wit and hilarious slant on life.  By the way, how did you know, that I chose to do a combination of options 1 and 3 to get to the most awesome chapter?  It's that photographic memory of yours, isn't it?  You really rock it, girl!  In the same breath, tears flowed when I read how she remembers the day she knew she was different, yet yearning for the connection and normalcy of being just like her siblings.  One of the things she reminds you of in this chapter is, it's not that Carly never had a voice, she just needed a way to get it out.  And get it out she does!  She and her therapists, Barb and Howie worked tirelessly to find a way to let her voice be heard...Welcome to the wonderful world of typing, which allowed Carly's family to meet her and Carly to meet herself and discover her mission to show others with autism that they have an inner voice!  Once she knew herself and realized that she had valuable and relatable things to say.....her inner voice burst out and she blossomed!  In Carly's case, a quote from Hellen Keller says it best... "When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us". The Fleischmann family has certainly had their fair share of sadness, but in the end, because of sharing their story, their door of happiness opened, when they saw that, they kicked it open and used it to help others in a most eye opening, inspiring way!  Thank you all for sharing your story!

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced, by The Arc of Indiana

Behind the Mic Book Review : Bloom: finding beauty in the unexpected by Kelle Hampton

Bloom: finding beauty in the unexpected, by Kelle Hampton is a book that is candid, honest, raw and yet, a refreshing look into the diagnosis of a life-changing disability.  Kelle's second child, Nella, was born with Down syndrome. Kelle's heart sank the moment she saw her baby girl.  Altho she felt like she was alone, she never really was.  Kelle's husband, Brett, along with countless girlfriends, held Kelle up when everything seemed to be shattering around her.  They cheered her on as she bravely faced the yet unknown challenges that she would have to come up to the plate and conquer.  While she didn't hold back the ravages of her emotions and the pain that shook her insides to the core, you can clearly see, early on, the kind of person Kelle really is... She was able to develop deep relationships that sustained her and helped her to heal, while she changed her perspective.  She began to realize that the pain of her little girl's diagnosis seemed to blur her vision to the fact that Nella was a healthy, beautiful baby!  When the challenges presented themselves, she wouldn't be alone in surmounting them.  Dr. Foley was on the front line of support and would lovingly remind her that little Nella was already making advancement.  She passed her hearing test, her jaudice numbers were disappearing, and her heart test was fine, which not always, unfortunately, can be said of those with Down syndrome.  As you go along on the journey with Kelle, you begin to see that, despite the earth shattering change that occurred, she knew she couldn't stay down in the mire of negativity, or under the control of her "sadness demons" as she called them.  She had to begin to "flip the switch in her head" as her sister Carin called it.  She also asked her to ''discard the old glasses and put on the new ones, because, life is how you look at it."  There are countless illustrative word pictures in this book that I am going to keep in my "positive thinking memory recall list" (Yes, I made  that up....aren't you amazed?? :) )  In writing this book, Kelle, has given such a gift to all who live with a disability and their parents and caregivers.  Kelle was inspired by a statement she read while pregnant with Nella... It said:"Living a life of comfort, does nothing to help us grow, and hard times shape us into interesting, developed characters." Getting out of our comfort zone, helps us to "Bloom" finding beauty in the unexpected and "waking up to live and love fully!"

Kelle, Brett, Austyn, Brandyn, Lainey and Nella-

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your journey in this book! You all have shown that to Bloom means to embrace and accept Nella for who she is and help others to do that, too. Awareness of that kind has a ripple effect, and this book and your sharing it, has done that so beautifully! Many hugs to all of you as your story continues to Bloom!  

Want to read Bloom for yourself?? Order it here: www.amazon.com/Bloom-Finding-Beauty-Unexpected-Memoir/dp/0062045032?ie=UTF8&hvadid=3488214665&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&hvqmt=e&ref=pd_sl_4xk7zhgsyl_e&tag=mh0b-20

Michelle Fischer is host of  A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

''My disability doesn't define me, and I don't want it to define you." - Scott Chesney

I was on the lookout for an interview for my podcast and it just happened that I logged on to my Facebook page and there was an advertisement for Mobility Works. The video was 58 seconds long and that's all the time I needed to know that I wanted to ask Scott Chesney if I could interview him on my podcast! I was instantly motivated by the words that make up this blog post title!  As a life coach, Scott has spoken to over a million people in 38 countries.  But, that's not all... He's been happily married for 16 years and has two beautiful kids!  Oh, did I mention that he has a condition that affects the middle to lower portion of the spinal cord called a "sleeping volcano" which means it can cause a hemorrhage at any time, causing paralysis?  Scott is definitely someone who doesn't let his disability define how he lives his life.

He was asked, "If one word was used to say who you are, what word would you want that to be?" His answer was "real".  He realized that if you're real that's how your connection to people begins to take shape and to grow.  No matter what the outside of a person looks like, now matter what their situation is, they have real potential.. They can be who they want to be!  Scott says "the only disability in life is a bad attitude".  Scott has come to the point in his life where he is confident in where he is, where he's going and how he's going to get there!!  Now, Scott has turned his story and his struggles into motivation for others!  I'm so glad I've come to know Scott and I know that when you listen to this interview you will be happy and motivated yourself!  Defining how disability fits into his life was a choice Scott had to make in order to not be stopped by his challenges... and his story is proof that GREAT things are possible and new liberating definitions of your life can be written! 

Listen to my interview with Scott here: http://www.arcind.org/view-with-scott-chesney/

Scott is also a spokesperson for Rowheels! Check out their website here! http://www.rowheels.com/

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from my Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Being Thankful: It's all about perspective...an everyday effort.

I always love getting to spend time with my Grandma!  For as long as I can remember, she's been one of the biggest influences in my life.  My mom has, over the past couple of years, started to take on the role of caregiver, which involves taking care of everyday things for my grandma - making sure she has meals, new clothes when needed, doctors’ appointments, paying her bills, filling out paperwork, etc. - it’s a never ending list, actually.  Each new day brings the same routine and what has amazed me is my mom’s dedication to her mom.  She's told me countless times she doesn’t want my grandma to feel alone.  I see why she feels that way.  Her parents never left her alone or with nowhere to turn.  When my sister was growing up, she was with my grandparents whenever mom needed someone to watch her.  When I grew up, I was never always cared for, as well.  Both my grandma and grandpa made it part of their routine everyday, like clockwork, to be at my house to get me off the bus...always bursting with love and smiles to greet me.  My grandma would fix snacks as we talked about the school day.  I was always helped with my homework (translation: I am not and never was a math genius!)  No matter what it was, they were always there.  Holding me up, cheering me on and building me up.  Returning the favor is only the right thing to do. Being supportive a thousand times over.  For years, my grandma did well on her own and then we realized for her own safety and well-being she needed a little more assistance.  Transitioning there was rough, so the supportive reinforcements were built up.  Reassuring her that she would be in a safe place and able to do what she wanted so she could find more joy in being in a community that would welcome her with open arms and help her through the tough spots of moving into a new phase of life.  Every once in awhile, she would say she wants to come back to the home she lived in.  I started off by saying that I could really relate to her.  I haven’t done all I want to in my life either, but if we get too focused on what we don’t have, we'll miss out on the blessings we do have.  Mom and I both tell her how much we love her, and that moving her to where she lives now is because we want her to be safe, happy and healthy!  She just happens to be all those things, now that she has gotten settled in her new home!

My grandma continues to teach me that you may not have the most ideal situation, but you can be happy in adjusting to a new situation...and come out smiling on the other side!  That’s what my grandma does every day and I’m determined to do the same. Being thankful is an everyday thing. That way everyday can be sunny and bright!!  Make it part of your everyday routine!

Love you Grandma!! :)

Perserverence despite unforeseen obstacles: in the words of Jay Ruckelshaus

When I first started doing research for Jay Ruckelshaus' interview, a mix of emotions welled up inside me. On the one hand, I asked myself what I had to complain about and then the feelings of shock and sadness for him because of the complete suddenness of his situation and how it unmistakably changed his everyday life.  He was in a diving accident that caused a spinal injury.  Then the interview came, and you know what?  When I met Jay, all I could do was smile!  His demeanor is positive and happy.  Period.  Getting to the happy and positive part took some time, but what helped Jay was the support he received from his family, his community and the college he eventually attended.  You may have heard of it...Duke University!  Jay kept his eyes fixed firmly on what was ahead and was determined to reach his goal of going to college!   I learned so much from Jay!  One lesson I learned is, if plan A doesn't work, ask yourself: What's plan B?  Plan B may have more twists and turns, and in Jay's case a few more obstacles to jump over, but, it's a plan nonetheless and a plan that has given Jay the motivation to reach out and lend a hand to other spinal cord injury patients who are wondering what their plan B looks like.  Showing others that going to college is attainable, led Jay to create his website The Ramp Less Traveled providing scholarship opportunities, mentorship and financial support to those dealing with these injuries, to succeed.  Yes, SUCCEED in going to college and really succeed in life!  Jay Ruckelshaus is proof that Plan B can work!  If Jay can do it so can YOU!  Always remember, when life gets tough or something doesn't go just exactly the way you planned....What's YOUR Plan B??

Listen to Jay's interview here: http://arcind.org/view-jay-ruckelshaus-ramp-less-traveled/

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced, by The Arc of Indiana

It's always a Great day on Sarah's Great Day!

Cooking and eating food is central to every gathering of friends and family.  Memories are made, laughter is heard and good times are always had by everyone!  That is how the hosts of the online cooking show Sarah's Great Day want you to feel, like part of their family and part of their Great Day!  What is remarkable about this online show is that nothing is scripted, everything is captured in real time.  Casual conversation, tips and tricks, delicious food that warms you from the inside out and hosts that invite you to sit, stay and be in their company!  Val is Sarah's mom and talk about someone who is a champion for those with special needs! This show is very much proof of that.  Sarah, who just happens to have Down Syndrome, was just tired and needed a break from school for a time, so they decided to homeschool Sarah...there was just one problem....Val was not a teacher.  How could she teach Sarah the things she needed to know?  She knew she loved cooking and there are so many skills that cooking teaches you.  It can help you sharpen your math skills, fine motor skills, reading skills and personal interaction with others.  For Val, developing this cooking show has really allowed Sarah to come out of her shell and is one of the best things for a mother to see.... her once shy, quiet girl, developing confidence and beaming with pride and blossoming!!   When I met both of these girls I fell in love with them!!  I saw that they have a relationship like my mom and I do!! Support and love are the foundation of success that allows Sarah to enjoy life and to see her disability as a motivation to inspire others around her to see their disability in a positive way, too!   Another cool aspect to this show is how food and friends are brought together.  In many of the episodes, Sarah's friends and people who have had a major impact in Sarah's life, are with her in the kitchen!  Sharing food among friends is one of the most personal ways to give of yourself... Food is your heart on a plate.  Sarah's Great Day proves that disability doesn't ever define your ability to achieve your dreams.

This is a must see online cooking show! Check it out here: /www.youtube.com/user/sarahsgreatday

I got to interview these two lovely ladies, and that was a fun day!  Listen into our interview here: http://arcind.org/view-sarahs-great-day/

                                                         Val-
                                                         I love your drive and determination to promote Disability Awareness!!  Thank you for being a cheerleader for all those with disabilities! You are Awesome!!  I'm quite a fan of yours', and also want to thank you for your very kind words about "A View from my Window"!  I really love hearing how listeners' feel about the show!  It made my heart feel so good!  Sarah's Great Day is such a great resource for everyone!  You have shown families that love, support and delicious food is a perfect recipe to reach the dreams they maybe never thought were possible! xoxoxo!


Sarah-
You really are a ROCKSTAR!!!! :) :) :)  Hugs girlie!! xoxoxoxo!!


Michelle Fischer is the host of  A View from my Window a podcast produced, by The Arc of Indiana

A Behind the Mic Book Review: Jewel Kats

  

When I started reading the books you see pictured here by Jewel Kats, all I could keep thinking was, these books are so valuable in teaching young women and girls to be ok in their skin and to make their disability fabulous!!  Jewel and I have yet to meet in person, but as we started talking, it quickly became apparent that she walks to the beat of her own drum.  She warmly weaves into her writing the idea that it's ok to be who you are and to be proud of how far you've come despite circumstances that may have beat you down.  Jewel has had her share of challenges.  At the tender age of nine years old, she was in a very serious car accident and spent months in the hospital.  She endured eight surgeries after this terrible ordeal.  Since then, arthritis and osteopenia have made it extremely painful to move and function in everyday life.  All of these things could bring her down, but part of Jewel's success is her positive outlook and her desire to help others.  One of the ways she does this is by writing about her experiences and then getting out and meeting her readers through speaking engagements and book signings.  We had the pleasure of meeting virtually through Facebook and I could sense that she really connects with her readers and when they are in her presence, she enjoys taking the time to chat and getting to know them!


What I found exciting about these books was, in every single one of them you are taken on an adventure or taught a very important lesson.  I LOVED Cinderella's Magical Wheelchair because as you are taken into Cinderella's world, you feel every emotion that she goes through.  As she sees her dream of going to the King's Costume Party dwindle, Monique from Enchantment University comes and restores Cinderella's faith in how beautiful she is...and she also helps her to see that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  The prince thought that Cinderella was beautiful because she was confident in herself and in her wheelchair....That wheelchair was a help to her, it wasn't all of her.  Assistive equipment is a part of life for those with special needs. You know what Jewel does??  She puts her own twist on her equipment.  Whatever it is, the equipment becomes a glam accessory - something to make her happy when she uses it!  Cinderella's Magical Wheelchair  teaches everyone to embrace their glamour!!


The Princess and the Ruby - An Autism Fairytale.

This book teaches the value of putting yourself in another person's shoes.  We are all unique, and people with autism are unique, as well.  They just have to learn, work and live in a way that works for them.  We all do that.  It's important to embrace our differences and appreciate them.  Ask anyone who has autism what their goals and dreams are... You'll be delighted to find that you may have more in common than you thought!

DitzAbled Princess - A comical Diary, inspired by real life

You get to be a fly on the wall with this book!  I love it when a book allows you to do that!!  Jewel invites you into her life as a woman who juggles all her different roles in life - rockin' a funky 80's look, being a wife, sister, daughter and mom to her dog Snowie, an award winning author, motivational speaker..(this girl is super woman) ...all the while showing the challenges she faces who's the boss!  The most important thing to learn from this book is finding a way to smile and laugh at yourself... Life is too short to focus on what you don't have.  Instead, focus on the positive and always look to help others.  Don't be afraid to allow those who support you to lovingly push you to your greatest and sometimes undiscovered potential!

Jewel - Thank You for showing girls and women of all abilities that there is beauty and glamour in all of us and that embracing it is what makes our disabilities FABULOUS!! <3 <3


Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

It all started around the kitchen table.... :)

Have you ever really stopped and thought about how important the kitchen table is in your house?  It’s at the center of where everything important happens.  Memories are made, decisions are reached, and bonds are forged.  In my case it became one of the foundation building blocks that would take me through my rough times.  I remember my Grandma and Grandpa Fischer’s kitchen table so fondly even to this day!  

That kitchen table was where I learned kindness, compassion, and support.  I grew up in a family where getting together and seeing everyone was a refreshing intimate time to catch up, laugh and rebuild each other!  When entering the house, I remember even as a little tike, a feeling of instant comfort and coziness inviting me in.  I was never ignored, but included.  I was cheered on, helped and most of all...LOVED!!   I was part of the weave that was my family.  I always felt like if I wasn’t there...I knew they would feel like something so important was missing.   I was never put to the sidelines or less valuable because I was different physically.  Everyone, including my parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents were a team, and we helped each other out.  When we were making food for a family dinner, I was always in my high chair close by or included in the action somehow.  Or, sometimes we would simply look at old photos or look outside at the beautiful lake down the lane.  Whatever we did, I was never far away!! 

Children learn by example. The example set by the people in my family was never unnoticed or unappreciated in the least!  As I have entered adulthood, and have learned to grow into my own skin, I’m incredibly grateful for the the time, patience and love I was shown by my family members!

All of us get caught up in the “on-the-go”, but it’s important to slow down and take time to be with family.  Nobody loves you like your family does. Nobody will cheer louder or harder for you. And your family will use all their power to lift you back up on to your feet when you fall.  Realizing the strength and need for the bond of family happens around the kitchen table.  Never underestimate the need for family time for all in the family. The routines and memories you establish now, will make an impression and be a source of comfort during those hard times. Trust me, you will be thanked.  The advice and sometimes tough love family members have given me sticks with me.  When I’m not confident in myself one day, I hear my mom’s voice say, “Honey, you are doing things you never thought you would be doing, be proud of that”!  Or I hear Grandpa’s voice saying,  “Whatever you choose to do, you can do it and I will support you!”

The support and belief in me from those whom I care about is easy to see now, and is the very thing that started the spark of belief in myself to accomplish things I wanted to do.  Home is where your heart is. Family is where your STRENGTH is...and it all starts around the kitchen table.

The power of telling other people's stories helped me heal from the inside out, and a dream job took shape!

“DREAM BIG”, something that seemed to be my motto as a little girl and going into my pre-teen years.  My family and friends never treated me like my disability was any big mountain that would prevent me from going for and reaching the goals I wanted.  So off my mind went into dreams of training dolphins, being a teacher, or an actress living in places around the world, having kids and a husband.  “I will have these things, I thought, whatever challenges I face, they will fade away and everything will be fine!“

It’s almost as if I went to bed one night with optimism on my side and then the next day, it seemed, my life came crashing down around me. I was a train wreck of emotions....I didn’t know the person I saw staring back at me in the mirror.  I hated who I was seeing!

The things I thought I knew about myself, my values, my likes and dislikes....all my goals and roads to reach those goals were cloudy and distant, filled with mountain-like boulders that I was in no way prepared to tackle!  Gone were the days in the latter years of being a teen when I looked forward to getting out of bed and on with the day!  I merciliously beat myself up over something everyday, and everything I did, I questioned: Would a guy love me someday?  Would I make a good wife?  If someone asked him who I was as a person what would he say?  What kind of a mother would I be?  If my mother was asked by someone about the kind of person I was, what would she be able to say?  Was I considered a good friend?  These and more filled my head and slowly broke and eventually shattered my spirit.

Each negative thought that spun inside my mind just made me more upset and angry that I was disabled in the first place.  Why do I have to go through this?  Why didn’t anybody tell me that it would be this painful to grow up?  Why didn’t I realize that I needed to take steps to be more independent?  I was riddled with guilt and despair every second of the day!

At one of my darkest moments laying awake in bed, I desperately tried to think of ways to pull myself out of this emotional  tailspin.  That’s when my dream of becoming a journalist started to form as one of the many things that would heal and restore me from the inside out.  The ability to push my problems aside and allow myself to learn from other’s stories and give them a voice for their pain and struggles.  A healing for them and a healing for me.  You become a snapshot in time, a memory in that person’s life as a journalist, for as long as you tell their story.  All the while, remembering that its not about the glamour of the job, but its about showcasing the power of the human spirit to be resilient!  Anderson Cooper, my favorite journalist, said it best: “Be honest about what you see, get out of the way and let the story reveal itself”

The most beautiful gift: The power of someone’s story being voiced, and through that, showing them that they are a valuable, beautiful person.....and through THEIR story....realizing that I CAN think the same of myself! :)

**** This article appeared in the Fall 2012 issue of Unique Me Magazine :)

Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

The image in the mirror...the perception of beauty.

The tide...it is a changin’...and I applaud companies who have started to recognize  people with disabilities for the beauty that is within them and on the outside too!  Real people facing real issues, like for instance: being teased, taunted, and made fun of as the punchline of someone’s joke.  But now, a new opportunity arises for them.  Public awareness of what they can do!  Whether it’s a being model, an actor, an author or an athlete, the list is endless!  For a moment in time, allowing the disability to fade away, and being treated with the dignity they deserve.  All too often, the emphasis is placed on the outer beauty, and the inner beauty is ignored completely.  If a company is promoting feeling good about yourself, and they use a model who possesses outer beauty, yet is known to be self-centered and ugly on the inside, how in the world can you expect to believe anything that they say, and how can you truly feel confident in what you see? The actions don’t back up the words. Can that person really be considered a role model of what true beauty is?   Similarly, it becomes obvious that the models used today, while beautiful on the outside, lead lives that offer no example for young people with challenges to look up to.  Unfortunately, we’ve been trained by advertising to believe that beauty is only on the outside.  While outer beauty is a precious gift, it can be unappreciated by those possessing it, and the inner beauty needed to make it real, hasn’t even been considered as the most important factor.

But, when you feel beautiful on the inside, the outside beauty bursts out!  I remember when I was a little girl, I would sit outside the bathroom door while my mom would put  her make-up on and I just marveled at the the end result!  She would highlight her eyes with vibrant colors and use the eyelash curler and mascara to add the drama.  A little bronzer here, a little blush there, and voila!  It fascinated me to see how she could enhance her beauty by using make-up.  The outside beauty of my mom now matched the inner beauty she has always possessed.

People with disabilities have incredible inner beauty, as well.  And that makes the outer beauty burst out, but many times people lose out on seeing that inner beauty because the person they see in front of them doesn’t fit the mold of what they’ve been taught to think beauty looks like.  The reality is, people with disabilities are beautiful.... and you, by encouraging that beauty can help bring it out!  How cool is that?  You are a part of helping them realize their own unique beauty and TRULY embracing it!!!! 

Let’s face it, when going into the doctor’s office our parents heard the diagnosis and we all fit that “look” to a tee, masking the beauty that is in us....making us feel inferior, resulting in a self-esteem that is completely burst!  Plain and Simple: It should NOT happen!  When people realize that, it may be a small thing to most people, but when we see someone else’s true beauty and then help them see it too, its a big deal to them.  Their image in the mirror becomes most of all beautiful to them!!  A True Role Model Indeed!

Michelle Fischer is host of  A View from My Window, A podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

***This article originally appeared in the Fall 2012-13 issue of Unique Me Magazine 

The Doctor is in: Dr. Will Miller discusses the need to be connected and Refrigerator Rights

The 2013 Arc of Indiana Annual Conference was a great success again this year!  As the opening speaker, Dr. Will Miller got the conference off and running on a high note.  Dr. Miller touched on many subjects that the audience could relate to, which at times stirred our emotions.  However, the majority of the time, he had us laughing until our stomachs hurt.  He really stressed the importance of closely connected relationships, which he affectionately called "Refrigerator Rights".  These are friends who don't have to ask permission to be in your life...they can walk into your house, open your fridge, grab something to eat, sit down, throw their shoes off and feel right at home!  They are not mere acquaintances...they are friends who truly become family!  I am very fortunate to have these types of relationships in my life and I'm grateful for them.  I related deeply to this concept of "Refrigerator Rights", mostly because I had to develop these types of connections to cope with the growing pains of cerebral palsy.  As I came into adulthood, the reality of my disability came into focus and the negativity along with it.  I would beat myself up for countless things - mercilessly!  I was a train wreck, that is, until I started to listen to what others felt about me.  Unwavering support, love and strength were then in place.  When I took advantage of this support - I was rebuilt, refreshed and encouraged with things during that rocky stressful time - things I still draw on to this day!

Refrigerator Rights relationships help the human spirit be resilient!  In the disability community, helping those who have special needs be resilient is critical to their well-being and how they view themselves.   We all deal with difficult circumstances, but when you have a disability, sometimes, no matter how many steps you take forward, there is always a feeling (at least in my experience of dealing with my situation) that you take twice as many steps backward and are always in catch up mode. Those whom you choose to be in your intimate circle of support will always be there when you fall..never forget that and don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help.  People with disabilities deserve to find happiness and joy in life, and reach for goals and dreams that they love,  While not being defined by their disability everywhere they turn, they deserve to be who they are best at being: themselves!  I ask you, please, make an effort to be the kind of friend that brings resilience back into another persons' life... Feel what they feel, step into their shoes or roll in their wheels!  The more you understand what others are going through, the stronger the connection becomes...and then you will witness something extraordinary...  They will begin to come alive again, believe in themselves and start to see themselves in a bright shiny positive light!! 

Refrigerator Rights...pass them on!  Develop these types of relationships!  You never know who needs them and how a life can be forever enriched because of them! 

Thanks for the reminder Dr. Will :)

Listen into my interview with Dr. Will after his speech here! We had a great time talking! :)

www.arcind.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/A-View-with-Dr.-Will-Miller.mp3

Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from My Window,  podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana

Autism Awareness Profile: HANDS in Autism

                                                                                                                                    When a child is diagnosed with a spectrum disorder such as autism, it can be an emotional roller coaster like no other. The sad part is watching your child have to struggle with having to "learn" the very things that give us closeness as human beings... a touch, a hug, holding hands, a kiss and countless other social interactions that are so vital to our emotional and physical well-being.

     What is incredibly comforting to most of us, can be awkward and uncomfortable to someone on the spectrum.  In going through this puzzling process, there are many uncertain times.  Times where you may ask yourself - Where do we go from here?  On my podcast, I have had the privilege of interviewing some outstanding people who help those with autism.  One of these, Hands in Autism, is an organization that seeks to help families in making their way through what seems to be the never ending dark tunnel of the diagnosis. They provide a listening ear while being proactive in starting the process of seeing light at the end of the tunnel - with hope and help.  One of the keys to providing help for families and those who have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), is being able to provide resources that answer questions for families and caregivers.  They need answers as they cope with different stressful and challenging circumstances that they and their loved one may go through.  All of these topics are covered, and more, on the Hands in Autism website.  I was blown away and delighted to see that Hands in Autism goes far beyond the call of duty when it comes to resources. They are rockstars in the resources department!  Once you see this website, you'll see what I mean!!   Just as the name of the organization suggests, you are not ever alone...they are with you every step of the way!

Here are just some samples of the treasures you will discover on this site: 

This section deals with Visual Supports and Practical tools: http://www.handsinautism.org/tools.html

Here's a handout that talks about 10 things you can do to support those living with ASD: 
http://www.handsinautism.org/pdf/10Dos2SupportIndividualsASD.pdf

Hands in Autism has wonderful information Cards to help people understand more about ASD and it helps promote Disability Awareness These are Fantastic!  www.handsinautism.org/pdf/AutismInfoCards.pdf

There is life after the diagnosis of autism, and Hands in Autism wants to show you how to achieve that life...  Autism is not the end, in fact, it can be just the beginning of finding out that you can reach your dreams and goals and let your disability know that you are in control of YOUR life!

Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from my Window a podcast produced  by The Arc of Indiana

For more information on Hands In Autism, Follow them on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/HANDSinAutism.

Listen into my interview with Assistant Director  Tiffany Neal talking about the great things Hands in Autism does!  http://www.arcind.org/upload/media/A%20View%20into%20Hands%20in%20Autism.mp3