Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Love and Marriage: A dream that can become a reality for everyone!

I often dream of my wedding day.  I want a vintage wedding... Ah, yes!  I love all things vintage!  A vintage dress with a touch of whimsy and a touch of elegance.  Roses and daisies will adorn my bouquet.. in bright reds, pastel pinks and burnt oranges.  Four of my closest friends who have laughed, cried, and supported me through the ups and downs of life, the bonds of friendship deepening each year, standing beside me on this most sacred day.  The bond between mom and daughter is unflinching as you see the bond strengthen, yet now your relationship becomes deeper.  Her advice becomes even more the essence of you.  The advice that you scoffed at as a kid, viewing it as “uncool” or “cramping your style”, becomes so precious that you wondered why you turned a deaf ear to it to begin with.  Realizing that as the years of your marriage progress, you will most likely do things like your mom, your grandma, your aunts and your friends- giving the indication that you may not have turned a deaf ear to everything they lovingly taught you, after all.  I continue to be so grateful for the women in my life.  They are examples of strength, compassion and love.  I learn so much about what marriage means from examples of women in my life.  Whether its a look, a touch, or a kiss... They show respect for their husbands for taking the lead in their family incredible gift that we have been given in marriage!  I’ve seen evidence so many times that this gift is not taken for granted, but highly valued.  Think about it:  Because you have listened and learned, observed and perhaps questioned... these are the things that shape you as a person to be ready to be a wife and a partner.  Then a potential husband catches your eye and has qualities that match your personality well, but also most important, he fits in with your goals, values and dreams.  Your dedication to each other becomes more solid through times spent together with conversations, laughter, tears, time with friends and families.  All of these building blocks become the stepping stones to a strong foundation of a firm, rich mutual love and respect....that can last the test of time. The handling of this gift takes much effort, but when that effort is are rewarded endlessly!

People with disabilities feel the same about marriage.  They want to be able to tell people how the girl met the boy, how they cooked together for the first time, had their first kiss...the first moment they realized they are crazy about each other and you can’t imagine life without them there. The butterflies in your stomach when you know you have found the perfect dress. I’ve been told by many of my friends that we are all “disabled” in some way, its just that some disabilities are more visible then others.  That’s what makes the accomplishment of a goal like finding that special someone so sweet!  Marriage is not a fairytale, its a building project...building a team, a foundation of trust and support.....a unified and fortified wall against anything that is a threat to undermining this gift.  A challenging, yet rewarding journey.  Everyone, disabled or not, should have a chance to have this gift.  The gift of love and marriage doesn’t just have to be a can be your reality!

*Picture Courtesy of Angela and Matt Sharp :)
**Article Originally appeared in Unique Me Magazine

Michelle Fischer is host of  A View from My Window, a podcast  produced by The Arc of Indiana

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