Emotions are what connect us. We can speak to each other through emotions. When someone cries, they need comfort. When someone is angry or upset, they need a listening ear. When someone is so happy they can’t hold it in, your heart bursts out in happiness with them! What helps motivate you to connect with others through your emotions? Understanding and fellow feeling. These two qualities help you to put yourself in another person’s shoes. You remember that, at certain times in your life you have also felt the weight of heavy emotions - the ones where you feel like you could break and shatter and not be able to go on... You have also felt the feel good emotions, happiness and contentment, feeling so good that nothing will stop you! You may say to yourself, “Negative thoughts, what negative thoughts? I’m ecstatic” ...as you bask in your happiness. As you go through these emotions in your lifetime, who is there for you? Whoever the person is, you no doubt feel so much better after you talk about how you feel. Whether it’s pouring out your heart or getting set to accomplish something you have always dreamed of, someone you love, respect and care for is and was there, for...YOU.
Those who love you, may have taken the time to share insights into what helps them get through certain situations without letting their emotions take over and keeping a level head. Then you may decide to pay it forward and share it with someone else. For example, let’s say you try to give encouragement and positive help to someone and you walk away feeling like you helped them. However, the next time you see them, they seem guarded and closed. Within yourself, you may feel like the help or advice you gave, didn’t help at all. Here’s something my mom has always said to me, “People can only give you what they can give you on that day”. Everyone, disabled or not, deals with stresses, emotions and disappointments in different ways. These things weigh on people, and there are days when it would just be easier to stay in bed!
A good thing to remember, though, is that the time you take to be there for someone will always be remembered. When something is on someone’s shoulders, it sometimes takes time for the advice to sink in. At the time, they may not be able to see how your advice will help them, but in the long run, it can have an impact on that person for the good - helping them to keep moving forward! That’s such a wonderful gift you can give to another person - using what’s in your power to help. A kind word or a gentle hug, can help that person to recharge and become resilient again!
I often talk about how people with disabilities should be included in groups with those without disabilities so that each can benefit from the other. People with disabilities are often thought of as needing something. However, we can give something, as well. Since there is more happiness in giving, I propose that we start something new. All those who have disabilities (I’m included in this group:), can make an effort to give of themselves everyday. Talk to someone without a disability. Talk to someone with a disability! Say hello and put on a warm smile. If you are able to have a longer conversation, you might be surprised by what you find out about them. You may find out that you have more in common than you first thought and you might just be the person that makes their day a bit brighter. Practice makes perfect and the more you practice relating to people, the more you can give of yourself to them. People will observe the way you view the challenges and obstacles that come up in your daily routine, and how you handle them. As you work on your perspective and your positive emotions, you will become a person who can be there for others. As you give back for all the times others have given to you....the impact will be lasting and priceless!
Emotions are powerful for the good or bad, building up or shattering to pieces. Ask yourself: What part do I want to play in how far Disability Awareness rolls on? What kind of ripple effect do I want to make for those around me? Emotions are what connect us. Putting our heart into our emotions - the motivation behind how we use our emotions - will help keep us together!
Michelle Fischer is host of A View from My Window a podcast podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana www.arcind.org/podcasts/
