The value of Friendship: A treasure!!

 

I've always made friends easily, and I've been very blessed to have relationships that have remained strong for many years.  I'm grateful for friends in my life who are like family, and I'm in constant amazement that all of these friends saw something in me that they loved and connected with.  The blessing of friendship is one SWEET reward!   Friendship has always been a stabilizing force... I feel useful and valuable and it has been a source of strength.  Everything seems right with the world when I can give of myself to a close friend, whether in a time of unimaginable happiness or heartbreaking sadness.  I try to give back to people I care deeply about, who've made a place in their hearts for me...they deserve that.  I'm always quick to give a smile, a warm hello, a kiss on the cheek, an arm around the shoulder, a pat on the back.  A kind, loving gesture to let them know I'm happy to see them and that I care.  As I reflected on my friendships, I would often fight with a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that was almost impossible to suppress - I'm not good enough for my friends.  Was I even doing a good job being a friend?   Whenever a friend would talk to me about what they were feeling, a recent trip, getting married, being pregnant, buying their first home - I wanted to excitedly shout at the top of my lungs, I REALLY know how you feel!!  But, I really didn't know how they felt.  The pain of wanting to really connect to them was deep and intense.  With that desire being so deep, I realized that it was overtaking my thinking so much that it was squeezing every ounce of self esteem out of me.  The question was, would I let that happen?  For what seemed like an eternity, I sat stagnant, hating my situation.  The ultimate question for me was, how was this helping me be a good friend?  Of course, it wasn't helping at all.  My bad attitude was creating a wide gap that was taking me away from the thing I wanted...friendship!   The next question that came to mind was, how do I move forward and fix my bad self!?  When I quit focusing on my situation, I had time to love others.  It changed my life.  Take this, for example, my friend Michelle, whom you see in the photo with me...(our friends call us Michelle squared) ... is married, has two older kids and just had her third baby, Ava!  We have become so close, that Michelle and her family are like our family!  I've always dreamed of having a family, but being pregnant would be a big job for me physically and caring for children would take its toll, as well.  I still have the job of being "aunt" to my friends' babies though!  If I would have been so consumed with what I didn't have, I wouldn't have been able to soak up every moment of being able to be with Michelle at the hospital and holding Ava after she was born, and be a part of her life!! <3

My girlfriend Monique and I- on her wedding day 2008 :)

My girlfriend Michelle Serna and I :)

My girlfriend Angela and I on her wedding day:)

 My friend Monique met her husband Eric and fell head-over-heels in love!  Their first date was dinner at our house, because we had to see if he would really be her knight in shining armor. :)  It didn't take long for us to understand why Monique was falling in love with him. In 2008, they were married at our house!  Yes, that's right...we had their wedding in our home!!  Its been 5 years since that day, and it is still one of the happiest times of my life!!

My girlfriend Angela fell in love with her husband Matt within 3 months of meeting him.  When they got married in 2007..I was so excited for her...yet weddings can be hard for me.  But, I told my emotions: "NO, I'm not going to let you get me down"!  Seconds later Angela's dad, Bruce, put his arm around me, and said some of the most precious words, "Angela is getting ready, and she wants you to see her in her dress".   I went into the room where she was and everything stopped...I remember crying and saying "oh my" more then 1,000 times. :) It was a wonderful moment!

International Friendship Day is what inspired this blog. Even though it's past, friendship lives on!  I have many friends that I cherish, and I love each and every one of you!  I celebrate you and the bonds that we've made!!  Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives!!  Friendship is such a precious treasure!! <3

Michelle Fischer is the host of A View from my Window, a podcast produced by The Arc of Indiana